Senior UKIP figures were last night deeply conflicted about their party’s official stance on the EU’s forthcoming ban on refillable olive oil bottles in restaurants.
“One the one hand”, sneered one ageing xenophobe, “this is precisely the kind of needlessly pernickety micro-management that we expect from the unaccountable Brussels Eurocrats”
“One the other hand”, the spokesman continued, stopping only to scowl disapprovingly at a disabled child, “olive oil is the sort of poncey foreign muck that’s ruining this country! Everywhere you turn there’s people drinking Chardonnay, eating bloody cous cous and drizzling olive oil on their limp-wristed potato salads. Whatever happened to a pint of bitter, a fag and a spot of casual racism over a Sunday roast?”
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